Fighting for my Princess

Can you hear the Rocky theme playing in the background? I hear it in a distance. I feel like I should be racing up concrete steps in Philly. Why?

Because I’m in the fight of my life. Ready to get my knuckles bloody. Ready to be marked—black and blue. Ready to face the enemy.

But not ready to go it alone.

Target. So many lessons seem to happen here. It’s not that I find God within the walls, I think I’m just there so much that’s where He finds me.

Sigh. Moving on….

My daughter and I had been shopping for a birthday gift. We reached the check-out and there they were—in all their glory. The tabloids.

Pictures of Kim Kardashian splashed the front pages of several. Kate Middleton took her place on a few as well. I watched, mouth shut tight in curious silence, as my Princess began to scan their covers.

“Why are there so many of her?” she asks pointing to Kim Kardashian, half dressed with a neckline so deep, well, I don’t even know how to describe it.

“I’m not sure baby,” came my lackluster, wish-I-had-something-better-to-say reply.

“I think they should have…” she paused. “I think they should have more pictures of…” she continued to work out her thoughts with stuttered pauses.

And then she unleashed the heavens, wrapping me in the softness of hope. “They should have more picture of her,” she said pointing to a cover with Kate Middleton. “They should have more of her because she dresses appropriately. And well, she’s a princess.”

While Kate Middleton is no stranger to scandal, my daughter is unaware and has only ever seen the classy, beautifully dressed versions of this modern day princess.

And that is what I am ready to get bloody for. Ready to claw and pummel for. I’m fighting for my daughter’s purity and innocence. I’m fighting for her deep desire to be a princess in its truest form. And I’m ready to fight anything that tries to steal it away.

Who am I?DSC_0097
My Princess


But I struggle with the how.

How do I fight an enemy so large? How do I fight an enemy so quick to make us rationalize or turn a blind eye? How do I draw battle lines in sand that shifts with each new wave?

Answer? With help. The enemy is too big, and I’m too small to fight from my corner alone.

It’s time for us as mothers, aunts, sisters, women to rise, with our swords together, as a collective soul. It’s time to yell with a guttural scream, “You cannot have our daughters!”

You cannot have our daughters!

It begins by teaching our daughters what modesty means and modeling it. Don’t hear me define modesty with long skirts and buttoned-to-the-chin shirts. Modesty is not a response to being embarrassed of our bodies. Modesty is response to confidence in ourselves.

Because modesty begins in our hearts. Hearts that say: Look at the real me. Look at my heart not my body. Look at me and know who I really am.

We need to consider that what our daughters wear at six is not always cute at sixteen. Harsh? Maybe. Reality? Yes. I’d rather not tell my daughter she can’t wear a shirt she wore a year earlier just because she grew breasts. Is that really the distinction? Is that really the line in the sand? You’ve hit puberty, so now let’s figure out what modesty means? It can’t be or we’ve lost before the real battles begin.

We must collectively stand up to retailers. Refuse to buy your nine-year-old clothes made for the college coed. Will they balk? Protest? You bet. But better to fight now when she’s nine than when she’s fifteen. And instead of just telling her no, teach her why.

We must stand up to the television programming and movies that depict ideas and morals waiting to suck up the innocence of our daughters. Hunt, search, and scour the landscape for movies and shows that glamorize purity. Not in the 1950s-I’m-a-doormate-for-men purity, but an I’m-a-confident-unafraid-girl purity. Purity that screams I love Jesus and His joy is so much better than the world’s.

We must stand up to advertisers, who only illustrate unattainable perfection and airbrushed photos. Images that tell our daughters they aren’t beautiful. Think before you bring magazines in the home which could shatter your daughter’s self-esteem. Ask yourself, Does it shatter mine?

You see, our fight for the purity and innocence of our daughters, our black and blue war, is also a fight for ourselves.  The fight to say there is a beautiful princess in each of us. A princess worth fighting for.

As we stand up to the world that wishes to steal our daughters away, we must be prepared to talk. Talk to each other, talk to our girls. Talk candidly about why dressing modestly is also beautiful. Talk about why purity and innocence are worth fighting for. To explain how a burka is not modesty but our jeans can be.

My sisters, we must also pray. Pray alone, pray together. Pray. Pray to the God Who Sees. Our El Roi. The One who sees you and me—our daughters. Who sees our struggle. Who wants to restore what has been lost.

Purity. Modesty. Innocence. They are not outdated, 1950s words. They are ancient words meant to be lived out in modern times. Ancient because they are created by a Father in Heaven who wants beautiful lives for his daughters—young and old. Lives that can reclaim innocence, even after the world may have stripped it away.

It’s time. It’s time to define modesty for our real-world princesses. It’s time to reclaim our right to teach our daughters how they should present themselves to others. It’s time.

Will you fight with me? Are you ready to get bloody? Because they’re worth it.

The world cannot have our daughters!

This entry was posted in Beauty, Motherhood and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Fighting for my Princess

  1. Kim Faircloth-Atwater says:

    I am with you, sister! I struggle daily to make sure my 6 year old knows what modesty is. Even when its just me and her and she does a dance move that I don’t like as she is playing. Awesome post!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Precious Ella already knows about modesty and to resect her own body. As her nana, shopping with her is a pleasure because she has been taught to know what is appropriate or not. Thanks Heater and Michael. Ella is a child of the King a princess for real. As a nana of 4 precious children, I will also fight. Amazing Heather

  3. Heidi says: and are 2 (of many) videos about modesty! Love that you are fighting for your girl…I’m praying and fighting for my boys too! 🙂

  4. Lynda says:

    Well written and so true. I’m embarrassed by what’s on TV and displayed in stores. I can change the channel on the TV, not much I can do in the store but turn my head and let management know how inappropriate those displays are. I am ready to stand with you and my fellow sisters in this battle. Like Heidi, I’m also praying for the males in my family. 🙂

  5. Zelma Dodd says:

    Words of wisdom and fitting for the time we live in. It is time for Christian women to stand up and be counted. We need to stand against the world culture that says anything goes. I greatest weapons in the fight for our daughters is prayer and the Godly example set by the women that are part of our children’s lives. Thank you for the post. .

  6. Jenifer says:

    Amen! My girls are 15 and 12 and it is a fight. A fight with the enemy and the world. But I fight I am willing to take on because the world cannot have my girls!

  7. cyndi says:

    Beautifully written. My daughter is 11 years old and about to start junior high. I hope that I have given her the tools to stand up for what she believes in and to not be lured by societys idea of a perfect woman.