Writers often put pen to paper in order to make sense out of the madness and confusion of life. I can think of no other time when chaos abounds more than when the lives of the innocent are destroyed.
Today, I grieve with my nation as the senseless tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut plays out before my eyes on the TV screen. I weep when I imagine parents realizing that this morning was the last time they could wrap their arms around their children.
As a teacher, my heart breaks for those who have lost their colleagues. I think of the precious friends sharing my hallway and ache at the thought it could have easily been one of them.
The brutality of today’s shooting arises from the deepest, darkest pits of hell. Make no mistake—evil’s presence infiltrated Sandy Hook Elementary in the form of a 20 year-old man. God did not cause this.
But I would be lying if I told you I haven’t wondered all afternoon why the God of the Universe didn’t stop the tragedy. I would be lying if I told you I haven’t cried out to Him in anger, mentally shaking my fists toward the heavens. Why, God? Why did you allow this to happen?
While I cannot begin to understand or answer my own question, I can tell you, my God is big enough for my questions. And I know I would rather be angry in the arms of Jesus, than angry outside of His presence. I also know there is a war going on that we can’t see.
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”
Across the world, the very moment you read this, thousands of innocents are murdered—brutally. The Prince of Darkness prowls like a thief in the night whose sole purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10.) He has no rhyme or reason. He is senseless. He is chaos. He is death. But, praise God, he is not Lord!
You see, the beauty of free will is that I can choose to love my Jesus with abandon, fully and completely. But that same free will comes at a cost—and today the cost was immense. Tragically, not everyone chooses Jesus.
Do I know why God allowed today’s shootings? No. And I don’t know of any human that can begin to truly do that question justice. But I do know shaking my fists toward the heavens will only give the destroyer one more victory tonight.
My anger should be directed at the one responsible for the evil done today, not the God weeping over the deaths of children and teachers. I believe my Father in Heaven is more grieved tonight than we can begin to imagine.
So instead of being angry at my Lord, I choose to be angry at Satan and his demons. I choose to realize trusting in the God of justice and the God of love in the midst of this tragedy brings me far closer to the peace and comfort I seek.
Simply said. I trust Him. Not because I understand anything. Rather, I trust Him because He is God, and I am not. And tonight, and every other night, that is enough.
“But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord;
I say, “You are my God.”