Learning to Cast

Anxiety. Worry. Stress.

I know these words. I pack them everywhere I go. Sometimes I take them out, shine them up for all to see.

Anxiety and I are close—tight, bonded. Friends even? She wakes up with me and speaks to me, as I get ready for work. Never wasting a moment.

Every single second she has something to say.

The essays need to be graded during first period so you can get them passed back fourth or your students won’t have what they need for the essay their turning in tomorrow.

You haven’t posted a blog in almost two weeks. You’re letting everyone down.

Ella needs an appointment to have her eyes checked. I can’t believe you haven’t done that yet. Call today.

Have you called your Grandmother lately? The prescriptions need to be picked up from Target. Are you really eating frozen pizza for dinner again? Why aren’t you paying off more debt? You need to read those books on the nightstand to help you get a grip.

The conversation continues all day.

The darkness it brings lays a blanket heavy on my soul.

And for me? Depression and Anxiety like to gang up. Hang out. Get comfy and stay awhile. I know what it’s like to be buried deep without air. To cover my head with the pillows desperate, hoping the darkness will fade.

The cycle tortures.

Depression sucks my energy. I get nothing done. Then Anxiety comes knocking. Because I’m an adult with responsibilities. Yet all I do is pull the covers higher.

Back and forth—they play tug-of-war with my life.

I’m scraped across the mud.

The game ebbs and flows. Times I call on Jesus, pull myself out, and walk away. Then there are times I wave my white flag, grateful for Jesus and modern medicine.

But whatever time it is—Jesus is always a part of the anxiety killing.

I drove by a fisherman on my way to work this morning and wished for my camera. The rising sun glistened on the water, light hitting the man in a glorious spectacle. I imagined time standing still as he cast his line in to the water.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

There is a flinging in the cast. A pulling your arm back and slinging the line into the deep blue. A letting go.

A release.

And when I do? When I cast my anxiety on my Jesus? Shoulders unfurl and my chest expands with deep breathing. It’s a glorious, wonderful moment.DSC_0118DSC_0146DSC_0129

But the thing about casting? I tend to reel my anxiety back in with nothing on the line but the heaviness of worry and stress. I try to catch peace by reeling in emptiness.

There are some in this life that can fling their anxiety to the heavens never to reel them back. I envy those souls.

My life is a practice in casting.

But maybe? Maybe for some of us the beauty waits in the practice. Anxiety creeps in, but my Father beams light in its glorious spectacle when I cast it back out. He loves to see me practice the cast—flinging obedience His way.

Again. And again. And again.

There is beauty and delight in those moments.

A Heavenly Daddy cheering His daughter on in the practice, knowing one day she will fling and never reel emptiness back in. One day she’ll be an expert in the casting.

Until then? I’ll keep practicing, learning to dance in the light shimmering all around—living carefree before my Jesus because He is careful with me. Holding my fragility in His gentle hands.

Keep casting my sisters. There is bouncing, dancing Light in the practice.

Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you. 1 Peter 5:7 (MSG)

Learning to Life Free and linking up with my friend Suzie Eller today. Do you struggle with anxiety as I do? Join other bloggers just like me today as we look for ways to #livefree from anxiety and fear. Click over now and breathe deep.

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11 Responses to Learning to Cast

  1. Kristi Woods says:

    “Jesus is always a part of the anxiety killing.” Love, love, love this! He is, indeed. His truth conquers all. Visiting today via #livefreeThursday. So glad we’re neighbors, truly enjoyed your post today.

  2. Kelli Podracky says:

    I read this with tears streaming down. I have been battling the anxiety and stress and depression this week that threatens to overtake me. Thank you for the encouragement! 1 Peter 5:7 has been my life verse for over 20 years now. It was a good reminder to read it this morning. I appreciate your transparency! Much love.

  3. Beautiful post! I love the analogy of practicing our “casting” and learning not to take it back when we have handed over our worries to Him. It is a journey, isn’t it? Keep writing, sister! Stopping by from #LiveFreeThursday

  4. Alisa says:

    Once again, it seems that you have looked deep into my heart & troubled mind and sent me words of encouragement for me to drink into my soul. I love your wise, always loving words. Thank you my dear sister in Christ.

  5. I love the fishing analogy! Gorgeous thought! Loving your words today! #livefreeThursday

    • Thank you, Crystal. So much. I love when God just drops things in you mind. I couldn’t finish this post last night no matter how hard I tried. This morning when I passed by the beautiful scene on the water, I knew why. God is so good!

  6. Dawn Carpenter says:

    Press on. Pause. Pray. Your heart is absolutely beautiful Heather! You have been given a very sweet gift…the use of words guided by YOUR obedience to your God! He sees and knows and hears your heart….. Keep sharing! Powerful! You are His daughter princess! he is a king…. You are a walking testimony and oh so dear!

  7. Ifeoma Samuel says:

    Release, freedom, Peace….. That’s what we gain from casting our burdens.
    Thank you Heather for the refreshing words here.
    God Bless

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