Because Life With ADHD? Hard.

Having ADHD doesn’t faze me—most days. I don’t even think about it—most days. It’s part of me. Part of my fabric, my tapestry.

But some days? It just sucks.

There are days it can drag me deep down into the abyss of anxiety and depression. Because it does that. Did you know that’s how it often manifests itself in adults? So. Yeah.

The source of my darkest days boils down to brain synapses that don’t move fast enough in a life that moves in the world of smartphones and WiFi.

The movie Up? Not on my top ten list. But that dog? And the SQUIRREL moments? Genius.

It exactly describes my life. Which is sometimes no laughing matter.

I’m late for everything. All the time. “Get up earlier. Plan ahead. Try organizing a bit more.” All of those things. Even when I can accomplish those tasks, it doesn’t matter. I’m still late. It’s embarrassing.

ADHD adults don’t get special accommodations at work.

My brain stutters. I can be in the middle of a conversation and completely forget what I was talking about. I know. Mommy-brain. But it’s like mommy-brain that I’ve had since before kids, and it won’t go away as they get older.

So there’s that.

I’ve probably checked my phone, Internet, and looked up from my computer thirty times since I sat down 30 minutes ago to begin typing.

I’m at Starbucks wondering what the older woman sitting in front of me does for a living because she looks to be in her 60s with incredibly sassy heals, fabulous scarf, and color coordinating tights. I mean. She’s got more fashion sense than my right foot.

See? Right now I’m trying to drown out the sound of the people next to me and loud buzzing of the espresso machine. Did I mention funky music?

Wow. Colorful spandex just walked in.

Why not write from home? Because, believe it or not, the distractions are way worse. Mommy, mommy, mommy. And the load of laundry I washed yesterday needing to be rewashed. Look. There’s some dust. Let me take care of that. You mean kids have to eat dinner?

Squirrels? They’re constant.

Procrastination is the hardest to deal with. Did you know I have rolls of film that have never been developed? I think the last roll was from over twelve years ago. A wedding I was in—the bride and groom are no longer married.

Rolls of Film

See…I told ya…

 

Right now I’m wondering if you’re as in love with Humans of New York as I am? Because his photography and view of humanity is nothing short of inspiring.

See…

Then there’s having to accomplish projects and long-term tasks

Can’t keep my eyes off a sweet momma and her baby sleeping up on her shoulder. Are you confused yet? Try living in this brain for a while. It’ll flat wear. you. out.

Because it never stops. Never.

I think I just checked Facebook for the bazillionth time.

Living with ADHD is hard. Sometimes I medicate. Sometimes I don’t. It really just depends on how fast I’m spiraling through the pressures of normal life. It depends on whether or not my coping skills are worn out. It depends on whether I want to feel normal or feel like myself.

Today’s post? A little, okay—a lot, wonky. But maybe you can relate? Or maybe you know someone who has ADHD. Maybe it’s your own son or daughter. Maybe my ramblings today give you just a glimpse?

Like I said. Most days are awesome. I’m even grateful for this ability to see the world in such a different way.

But some days? It gets the best of me.

Sassy shoe woman just left, and I’m late to pick up my son from basketball.

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12 Responses to Because Life With ADHD? Hard.

  1. Kelly Thomason says:

    I absolutely loved what you wrote here. You just described ME to a T!!! I am a teacher and what you wrote sounds like my life! I have never been medicated yet I have learned to live with constantly being distracted with trying to teach 5th graders and raise a family. It has been an interesting journey to say the least. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your heart. It made me laugh, but mostly made me feel like I’m not the only one who goes through this. It’s a daily struggle. I wish people knew how difficult it is to feel like you are being pulled in thousands of directions all. Day. Long. I wish I could stay focused on just ONE thing at a time. Thanks again for this post!

  2. Jackie says:

    You are amazing; just the way God intended! I loved this.

  3. I love you. Squirrel. 🙂

  4. Robin says:

    Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your insight. I don’t have ADHD but sometimes work with kids and adults who do and always find that posts like this help me see a little more and inspire me to seek creative approaches to our interactions. It’s not easy to put it all out there and am guessing that among the thousand directions your brain went while writing, at least one shot in the direction of, “What on earth are you thinking putting all that out there?” As always your writing brings blessings to corners you haven’t discovered.

    • Thank you so much, Robin. I appreciate so deeply your desire to have understanding and compassion. It means more to me, and others like me, than you know…Your words were an encouragement to me.

  5. Taunya says:

    This is my favorite post you have written…and it describes me EXACTLY! I never thought about it being ADHD though and this has given me a new perspective on why I feel the way I do. It is hard to shake the depression when it hits…which it has been there for about 3 weeks now. I already feel a little lighter knowing that maybe there is an actual reason I go through this. I am going to have my husband read this so maybe he can understand a little when I get this way…that the tears aren’t because of anything other than my brain is TIRED!! Haha…beautifully written!

  6. Laura Hill says:

    I love this!!! No wonder I always relate so well to your posts. It’s because you live in the same world that I live in! This was such a blessing. Thank you for helping make it real for those who can’t EVER understand what it’s like in our heads. 🙂

  7. Kris says:

    Awesome post. Few folks speak openly about adult ADHD. They need folks to openly and accurately reveal the daily struggle. Great job!!!! And Humans of New York is so amazing.

  8. Thank you for writing this. It really helps to understand these challenges for people who have ADHD. I see myself here some, too!

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